Coronavirus diary of a moaner Week 12

Week 12, doesn't time fly when you are enjoying yourself! 3 months in and still going.

Fri 12th June - bit of a clean again of the Shed ceiling where the water previously got in before our repairs. The Beer Santa, Dan this week, turned up around 1.30pm with this weeks’ delivery, straight into the fridge to cool for later.

 Michael Gove has confirmed that they will not extend the Brexit transition period beyond the end of this year, I think that given the economic effect of Covid they are stupid not to extend. We need that extra time to make sure that we are in a position to go ahead without risking even more disaster on the economy, especially as the EU are prepared to grant such an extension. The government seem hell bent on leading us headlong into a potentially disastrous economic situation with a ‘no deal’ Brexit which will please their billionaire backers.

On a lighter note, did any of you regularly frequent seaside amusement arcades when you were younger? If so, I am sure that you would have practiced on the ‘grabber’ where you positioned the grabbing hand to pick up a cuddly toy of some description and deposit it down a chute. Now I am convinced that Grunters must have spent much of her youth practicing on this particular piece of equipment. Why would I say this do you ask? Now as soon as a bowl of cheese savoury snacks are produced, Grunters leaps quickly into ‘grab’ mode! She gets her hand into the ‘grab action,’ and proceeds to scoop up as many cheese savouries as possible then proceeds to dump them into a pile in front of her to consume as rapidly as possible! Now this is not just a once off, no if she thinks that the bowl is getting slightly lower due to the other ‘greedy bastards’ taking more than their share, the grab hand is employed to quickly scoop up any remaining snacks. It is a technique to behold, it is nearly worth the cost of a bag of cheese savouries to observe this quality action!

Sat 13th June - back to Owermoigne again, I cut all of the grass while Anna did the vitally important task of cleaning the microwave, something that is extremely taxing and took her as much time as my grass cutting!! Then as I was suffering with my bad back she ‘suggested’ that we paint another large part of the outside wall! Did I complain? No, I willingly suffered my agony to continue with her orders! 

Got home to a few beers and a cracking home made burger from Josh and with Grunters home made burger buns. Pity that Grunters has to go back to work on Wednesday as I will have to be ‘sous chef’ again! While we were having our pre dinner beers imagine Grunters delight when Josh brought out yet another packet of her favourite cheese savouries! Obviously the ‘grabber’ action was employed with great haste to scoop the majority of the snacks before us ‘greedy bastards’ had chance to have too many! A slightly different method was employed on the salt and vinegar ‘sticks’ but she still managed to enjoy a good share between the cheese savoury grabs.

Sun 14th June - under orders from Mein Fuhrer I made a cake today. Instead of my normal Lemon Drizzle it is a St Clements Drizzle (no not Jizzle Nath!), half orange and half lemon, we will have to see what it turns out like.

I had a bit of a realisation in the shed today, after listening to David Bowie Heroes, I  thought that this must be in my top 10. Then I suddenly realised that I started writing out my top 10 albums in the last page of the book I give to our accountants for our self assessment return. I had intended to rip out the page but unfortunately I posted the whole book through the accounts’ letterbox yesterday. Never mind, perhaps the accountant might like to add her choice to the top ten albums, I had listed far more than my top 10, as I was going to later filter down to my favourites!

We did manage to last until the weekend 2pm for beer’o’clock.

We had Ham Hock and spinach Rotolo for dinner paired with Grunters home made Garlic and rosemary focaccia, it was a revelation, definitely one of the best lockdown meals, the Rotolo was really tasty and the focaccia  as very light and tasty, probably the best bread Grunters has made during the lockdown. (Just in case, like me before I had it, you don't know what Rotolo is, it's a rolled form of filled pasta sheets, I can highly recommend it).

Had a slice of the St Clements cake with a coffee this evening, it was very light but I would make it with a bit more lemon & orange zest next time.

Mon 15th June - further orders meant I had to cut down all of the foliage around the side of the house next to the small shed which was becoming overgrown. I need to replace the roof felt on the shed but can't do this without clearing around it first. I managed to get the majority done before the petrol hedge trimmer stated to smoke, I quickly turned it off and placed it onto the middle of the lawn in case it caught fire!! I then cut the grass both at the back and front of the house.

I had an email from the accountant confirming receipt of my book and saying that she will be in touch. I wonder if this will be for the accounts or perhaps to add her thoughts to the top 10 albums?

Today's dinner of vegan cauliflower tacos went down very well, I would have them again! Mind you the vegan bit turned into vegetarian after we stuck cheese on top!

Tues 16th June - I cleared the rest of the ivy and brambles off the top of the shed roof, I ended up scratched to pieces all up my arms and legs. Perhaps wearing shorts and t-shirt to do it wasn't the best idea. I was fearing for the shed roof as I was standing on the very top rung of my step ladder and lying right over to the other side of the roof. I will just have to enlist Josh’s help shortly to re-felt. 

Excitement, my Thornbridge prize turned up, at first I thought it may be lacking beer as the box didn't seem very heavy. Upon opening I found a decent Thornbridge bobble hat, a size L Thornbridge T-shirt, some Thornbridge recipe cards and, thankfully, 12 cans of Jaipur! Big result! Unfortunately the size L T-shirt didn't fit me, obviously a tad too big, so Josh was highly delighted that it was his size!

What ego trip is Boris on now! He thinks he is Donald Trump swanning around in Airforce One. Apparently he is having a previously plain RAF grey Voyager plane painted red white and blue at the rear of the fuselage and up the fin. He doesn’t like it grey and has also complained about its unavailability as it's also used by the Royal Family. Be like us Boris, use Ryanair or Easyjet, then wait for your money back when they cancel your flight!!! Surely Boris, even you should be able to see that at this time that this money would be better spent elsewhere!

Another U-turn for Boris and chums, this time after Marcus Rashford’s campaign over extending meal vouchers over summer. This has been going on for the past few days but Boris claims to have only heard about it earlier today!! He just can't stop lying! 

Wed 17th June - Grunters has returned to work, bit of a pity as it will mean that I have to help Josh more with the cooking! But also cause for celebration today with the return of the Premiership this evening, thank goodness for that, plenty of football on TV over the next couple of months. 

Matt Hancock demonstrates how he is as out of touch as Boris, this time calling Marcus Rashford, Daniel! 

I did a couple of small jobs, I made frames with bamboo sticks and string for Anna’s tomato plants. Also everyone has been moaning at me for ages as the 2 security lights on either side of the garage have packed up. I had bought these from Screwfix and had already previously replaced one that had packed up. I decided that these weren't very good and have now ordered 2 from Amazon which have good reviews in comparison to Screwfix and B&Q lights. They should be here tomorrow so another job to do. Whist doing this I was reminded that the security light next to the back door had also been playing up for some time, it would occasionally work but Josh said it hadn't gone on for the past month or so. I therefore decided to change the bulb and it would seem that, at first testing, it seems to work.

Bit disappointed that Grunters refused to let us hose her down or spray her with anti-bac on her return back from work, before she comes indoors, after all you can't be too careful!

My first day as sous chef started with the usual raised voices when I put the cheese into the pan instead of a bowl by the side and a couple of other misdemeanour. Bring back Grunters!

Now found out today that it will cost £900,000 to repaint Boris’ plane, what planet is he on? It's a disgrace using taxpayers money at a time like this to appease his own vanity!

Watched the football, its a bit weird watching with no crowd and ‘background noise’ fans. Controversy straight away with a goal for Sheffield Utd ruled out despite being clearly over the line as Hawk-Eye didn't work. I still think that this should have been overridden by the VAR official as it was so blatantly clear, despite the fact that they are saying that the law states that VAR can't be used to change Hawk-Eye decisions. What is the point of VAR if it can't be used to override obviously wrong decisions! Also in the Man City v Arsenal match David Luiz came on as a sub due to injury and gave City their first 2 goals before getting sent off, what a total liability.

Thurs 18th June - I was just sorting out the shopping list with Josh when ‘breaking news’ said that Dame Vera Lynn has died aged 103! I feel a bit guilty now about my comments a few weeks ago on 75th Anniversary of VE Day (although I do think my comment about cryogenically freezing her and wheeling her out for the next war anniversary is still worth serious consideration). The BBC had obviously prepared their tribute well in advance of her death as within 2 minutes of announcing her death they had broadcast a full tribute with film clips and pictures. Yes she was a good old dear but the BBC went into overdrive, and getting on for half an hour later they were still going on. 

My turn for shopping again so off I went to Lidl. I think they've given up on social distancing, as although it was raining, the car park was more full than I have seen it since lockdown. However there was no queue to get in and it was fairly busy inside with the majority of the shoppers in couples. I have made it a tradition throughout lockdown that every time I go to Lidl I buy Bockwurst’s and rolls for a tasty lunchtime treat, pity Grunters missed out now that she is at work.

My second day as sous chef went a bit better than the first, a good chicken curry and Dahl, with no raised voices!

Another week done, Saints play tomorrow and Tuesday so something to look forward to this week.

Coronavirus diary of a moaner Week 11

Week 11, last week took a turn away from the political, at this stage I have no idea what this week will bring. Ever in hope that it's a good one!

Fri 5th June - Good news, the spot on my bum has subsided, I can still feel it is there but the Witch Doctor has done the trick.

I was told by Mein Fuhrer, following last week's Sunday Brunch, that I had to make their Lemon Drizzle Victoria Sponge instead of my mainstay normal Lemon Drizzle. It didn't rise like my normal one however we thought that it looked a bit flat when it came out of the oven on the show. Just have to see how it tastes. When I went to do the icing I found that I didn't have enough icing sugar left for the recipe so made about two thirds of what it said. Only when I put icing sugar on the shopping list and mentioned it to Anna did she come up with the revelation that we had a new box! I had looked in the cupboard where the flour and sugar is located but nothing was there. No, she had decided to put it on the shelf below and had still expected that I should have found it! Female logic! Josh sent a picture of my cake to Matti and Nath, Matti asked whether I had dropped it and Nath was suspicious of the icing on the top, asking whether it was. Lemon ‘Jizzle’ cake! Perhaps Josh ought to get some new friends! 

Josh’s week for the beer, with some Double Crosser and Lockdown, delivered quite early today at around 2pm. 

Weather has definitely cooled and it's quite windy, looks like beer night in the Shed today.

A few beers later and a chilli with Sophie’s Jalapeño scones, we then tried out a slice of the cake, not bad, very lemony!

Sat 6th June - went back down to Owermoigne, I painted the outside wall of the kitchen, I put one coat on 3 years ago the day before we opened and had been meaning to do another since! Anna put another coat onto the garden furniture. We had time to do more but it started to rain about 1.30pm. 

I had a dream last night that we had arrived at Owermoigne and there were 2 caravans parked on our drive and they told me that someone from the local school had told them that they could park there! Luckily when we actually did arrive the drive was empty.

I did have a small problem whilst down there, the Jalapeños from last night had started to take effect which prompted a good couple of rushed visits to the toilet!

Josh rang while we were having lunch, the lazy arse had just got up and apparently the shower pump had packed up. The average life of such a pump is around 8 years but we must have had that one at least 12. After shopping around I ordered a replacement to be delivered. When I got back home I walked through the door and Josh said, ‘I was just about to ring you, I unplugged the pump and replugged it back in and now it seems to be working’!! Oh well we will see how long it lasts and I will now have a spare!

I rang my mother, she said ‘I saw Andy Notley this week, I didn't recognise him at first, he has changed his car, he used to have a red one’. Andy is an old neighbour, he is in his 60’s now and she has known him all his life. Apparently he said to her that he is ‘catching up with me’ ( referring to my wonderful physique) and that he has met me in the pub. Now I haven't seen Andy Notley for over 35 years and the only person that I could think that it might be was an old mate of mine Toe Foot. I mentioned that it might have been Toe and she said, ‘oh you've got me thinking now, they do look alike’. No mother! Toe has got dark hair, Andy has always been quite fair! I later messaged Toe, yes it was him, he thought that she was a bit confused!!

Pizza Saturday again, this time we tried out using Sophie’s sourdough bases. They were actually very good although a bit more sticky and harder to handle. 

Sun 7th June -  sausage bagels for breakfast followed by a second coat on most of the garden furniture.

Then retired to the Shed for a couple of beers and a dose of German football on TV. Whilst watching the football Thornbridge brewery were doing a quiz on Twitter, to celebrate 15 years of Jaipur, in which Josh and Grunters were participating . The question asked how many pints of Jaipur they served during the ‘Peakender’ a clue was given between 2500 and 3000. I was being my usual helpful self shouting out random numbers and came up with 2832. They ignored my answers and told me to enter myself. I went to put in 2832 but due to my fat fingers entered 2833 but though that would do. A couple of minutes later, Josh had gone indoors and then I get a message from Thornbridge saying that I was a winner and only one out! It should have been 2832 which was what I was trying to input anyway. Josh reappeared from the house, I was leaping around the garden shouting ‘winner, winner chicken dinner’ and giving him and Grunters ‘Losers’ signs. Childish I know but it gave me great satisfaction, I get to receive some Thornbridge merchandise, which hopefully includes some beer!! 

Rang my mother again and confirmed her that she had spoken to the wrong person, Toe didn't really know what she was on about, obviously, but said he just smiled and told her to take care! I did tell her that she needs to wear her glasses all the time, she insists that she doesn't need them, but obviously she does. The same with her hearing aid which she takes out when we call her, she says she doesn't but there is a pause before she says hello and you can hear the whistling while she removes it! She reckons that she can't hear what people say with it in, well she certainly can't with it out!

Mon 8th June - second coat on a bench and chair and third and final coat on the rest of the garden furniture, I will be glad when that's finished and wish now that I’d just chucked a bit of oil on.

Tues 9th June - our ‘wonderful’ local MP, Michelle Donelan, has still not replied to my email of 23rd May regarding Dominic Cummings and also my chase up of 28th May. I am aware that many other MP’s throughout the country have had the courtesy to reply to their constituents. This is an example of what she thinks of us, or perhaps she has just replied to those in Chippenham, because she doesn't recognise Melksham as being part of her constituency, I don't think she has ever been here! I have also signed an NFU petition around Food Standards and followed their advice to also notify my local MP to get her point of view. We will see if she replies to this one.

Finally!! I have finished the 3rd coat on the garden furniture and a 4th coat on the table top, who thought that mint would be a good colour? It’s now a vision of pure mintyness!

The new shower pump arrived, it has been a quick delivery although at the moment the old pump is still working. I’m going to keep the new one as I can't see the old one holding out too much longer.

Ordered this week’s beer, 10 ltrs of Covert and 10 ltrs of the new Locked In with Azacca hops this time.

Anna rang my mother, her neighbour unfortunately died recently from cancer, they had a small family funeral today. My mother must have been glued to her front window as she proceeded to give Anna a run down of the people attending, how she didn't know who they were, and the flowers that they brought back to he house! Also after I specifically told her 2 days ago not to do any painting she has today been painting her garden shed! At 91 she is a disaster waiting to happen, I keep telling her that she will be an additional burden on the NHS if she falls or injures herself but she just carries on anyway! 

Wed 10th June - Rain is back, I can't be doing with anything that will make the grass grow! A pretty uneventful day. Did take the opportunity to have a bit of an afternoon snooze on the sofa. 

Thurs 11th June - I had started a Section 75 Consumer Credit Act claim from Lloyds Credit Cards to get back my Virgin Atlantic flight claim. Virgin are now completely ignoring any emails and messages that I send them. I made my claim to Lloyds via Resolver on 19th May. I had a standard reply stating that they were dealing with vulnerable cases as a priority but 17 days later I had still heard nothing from them. I chased up with another email on 6th June and this morning had a message confirming that they will be looking at my claim and giving me a claim number. Hopefully things may get moving now. 

Josh has had 2 beer box deliveries before 11am this morning, including his ‘bargain’ selection of 48 Brewdog cans! As he said, the football starts again next week and they will come in handy!

I received an email from the Thornbridge Marketing Manager confirming my win and that my prize is being packaged.

Following my note above regarding the Lloyds section 75 claim I received an email this afternoon from Virgin Atlantic CEO. I had been complaining to them and they had not responded to an email I sent them on 20th May so I had again chased them on 2nd June. They are now saying that I should receive my refund within the next 14 days and that I should receive an email from the refund dept to confirm this. Progress at last but won't believe anything until it hits my credit card account!

I received a standard reply from Michelle Donalen in respect of the NFU Food Standards, funny that she can reply within a few days to this and I am still awaiting the response to my Dominic Cummings emails of 23rd and 27th May. I will put this to her and request a swift response!

It's been a pretty uneventful week 11, not too much to write or moan about, at least the Premiership is back next Wednesday with games on TV most days!

Coronavirus diary of a moaner Week 10

10 weeks in and still recording my thoughts and observations throughout the lockdown. Last week was more political than usual, I will attempt to cut down on it this week, but can't promise anything.

Fri 29th May - Josh told us last night that Roger Ryman had died yesterday morning aged 52 from cancer. He was the Brewing Director and Head Brewer of St Austell and the reason for their recent success. He was ahead of his time with innovation from the more traditional beers and was responsible for the introduction of Tribute to the nation, which was originally launched as Daylight Robbery in 1999 as part of the eclipse celebration and subsequently relaunched to Tribute following its great success. He will be greatly missed by the brewing industry and all at St Austell and Bath Ales. RIP.

I answered a knock on the door and found the delivery of 2 boxes labelled from Boots, addressed to Anna. Upon querying what this 'unauthorised purchase' was, I was told that it was her 'bargain' purchase. She found that the lip balm that she uses in the summer to ward off cold sores was reduced from £8 to £4. Great in itself but also if she bought 2 she got one free! So £8 for 3 which would normally be the price for 1. Yes but surely 3 lip balms do not justify 2 boxes? Ah, this is where strange women's logic kicks in, delivery would have been £3.99 (still making it cheap for the 3), but no, delivery was free if you spent over £30. So in addition to 3 lip balms, we have numerous bottles of shower gel, shaving gel etc, which we now have to find a home for and store for the next year or so until used up!

The Friday lunchtime tradition in lockdown has been a ploughmans, in readiness to soak up the beer later for the Friday night beer session. Grunters decided to make sausage rolls, Josh did the sausage meat and Red Leicester filling and Grunters did the pastry. Whilst they were cooking Grunters was taking so much interest more or less ‘glued’ to the oven, that I though she would soon be 'drooling' like Albie the dog, when waiting for a treat! I do have to say though that they were very good.

We have set an unofficial time that we can have our first beer at 4pm, although that can be relaxed on Fridays and weekends. We were sat outside in the scorching heat and I was parched. At around 3.30pm I casually queried whether it was beer time, Josh ruled that as it was so close to 4pm we might as well wait. Well, the time was going extremely slowly, until out of boredom I saw a plane flying overhead and mentioned this, Grunters then comes out with the revelation that there's an App that when you point your phone at the plane, tells you what flight it is and where they are going from and to. After a bit of my usual trouble finding the App, and with Josh's intervention, I had it up and running. Just imagine the excitement when I found that the first plane coming over was a FedEx plane from USA to Charles De Gaulle in Paris. Several small private planes and a helicopter later it was realised that I had missed the 4 pm beer deadline and it was a few minutes past! Beer in hand I proceeded to monitor the skies. We ended up with three FedEx planes from different departure airports in the States flying overhead to CDG. I am thinking about writing to FedEx to charge them for using the airspace over our house.

Anna noticed on Twitter that there was a 3 hour queue of cars to get into Melksham recycling centre. Who in their right mind would queue in the scorching heat to get rid of their rubbish? Surely nothing can be that desperate to get rid of? The world has gone mad. Mind you I can guarantee that the average age of those queuing was over seventy.

Grunters had quite a few beers and by around half nine had eyes like pissholes in the snow, after singing and swaying along to Take That on the Meerkat music download. I went indoors and posted on Facebook a couple of pictures I took of Tribute and Proper Job, as we raised a glass for Roger Ryman. Shortly afterwards I had notification that Grunters had commented on my post, It read 'A fitting Tribute, never Fogey', never Fogey? what's all that about, obviously should have been 'forget'? In my usual helpful manner, and in the knowledge of Grunters' state if inebriation, I did Whatsapp her to as 'what is never fogey, pissed again'. A couple of minutes later to receive the message ‘Thank you, I've changed that’. I did reply 'at least you didn't fogey'.

Sat 30th May - back down to Owermoigne for a few more jobs. I told Anna the night before that I would set the alarm for 7 to get there early, however I actually set it for 6! By 6.45am we were showered and in the car. I had been given a £60 Tesco voucher for my birthday from my mum, so I had decided to spend it on something we desperately need, like more beer! On my way to Dorset usually I call into Tesco in Shaftesbury as it's right by the main road. Given it was only 7.30 I though that it would be good to stop off  to stock up, avoiding the queues. There were more cars and people about than anticipated but still fairly quiet. We only had a small trolley and piled in our beer, mainly packs of cans, plus some flowers and milk. They only had 2 tills on, right next to each other, with one massive queue stretching down one aisle. We decided to use the self service which was empty, I asked the lady covering the self service if I could use the Gift Card there, apparently not. I then saw this on a small notice but it said use the till or customer services. She helpfully got through to customer services on her 'walkie talkie' and explained that we only had a few packs of beer, flowers and milk. He refused to serve us and told her that we had to go to the till. As I previously said, there was a massive queue for the only 2 tills open. I was of half a mind to dump my trolley there and then and walk out, but it was beer after all!  So we decide to just pay with our debit card and use the gift card for a normal shop some other time. There were only 16 items and it only took us a couple of minutes to check out. When walking back past customer services there were no customers whatsoever at his till, lazy git! I cannot see why, with today's technology, they cannot get a Gift Card to be accepted a the self service tills. I am not impressed with their service and feel a complaint coming on, plus I will be stopping at Lidl in Blandford in future.

Hurt my back doing my Dorset jobs, we had change drivers on the way back just south of Warminster. At least it gave me an opportunity for a short snooze on the way home!

Back home for the beer and Pizza night.

Anna got a bit chilly and went indoors, I thought to get her cardi, but no she reappeared with some floaty bit of cloth on, both me and Josh expressed our surprise only to be told that it was her Kimono, and apparently Grunters said she had one similar. Kimono my arse!

Idiots visiting Durdle Door again today, there were thousands down there, far more than a usual busy summer day. Just to make things worse there we're  complete morons jumping off the 'Door' into the sea. This resulted in 3 serious and one minor injury. Also involved 2 coastguard and 1 air ambulance helicopters, a lifeboat crew, 6 police cars and numerous others. It is just unbelievable how selfish and stupid people can be.

Sun 31st May - just imagine Anna's self-satisfied smugness when I reluctantly had to admit to her that I had run out of shower gel. She theatricality proceeds to lay out 8 bottles on the bed so I could take my pick, when I count them and exclaim '8 bottles', she then tells me that she has got another of the Nivea! So off I trot to the bathroom after making my pick, clutching my Boots Zingy Raspberry and Pomegranate and a flea in my ear,

Her smugness continued into breakfast, she had made the coffee but asked me to pour it, at first view it looked like she hadn't done enough and I pronounced that it would only fill 2 cups, just imagine her face when it perfectly filled the 3 required cups!

Sent my complaint to Tesco, await their response. Then I had an automated response saying that due to the Coronavirus they were not replying to any emails, so they can give whatever customer service they want without dealing with any complaints!

On Friday I had told Josh and Grunters how cucumber is a wonder food. It is high in many of the vitamins and minerals we need to function, especially B vitamins. You can use it to clean your shoes, shine your taps and sink, stop your bathroom mirror from steaming up and use on squeaky hinges if you have no WD40. I did tell them one of the most important features was it's use to stop hangovers, so on Friday night after they had both had a few, Josh ate a chunk of cucumber before going to bed but Grunters didn't. Josh woke up as fresh as a daisy whilst Grunters was hanging!  They both had a bit of cucumber before bed on Saturday night!

Mon 1st June - Great news, Ikea has opened again! As some of you may be aware I am great fan of a day trip to Ikea from my previous blog. It has been reported today that some people we're queueing at 5.45am for a store opening at 10am. Also in Warrington by around lunchtime there was a half hour wait to get into the car park with a three hour wait to then get into the store. Why on earth anyone would think that this is a good idea on a hot sunny day is beyond comprehension. When they finally do get in and undertake the Ikea shuffle, socially distancing, not being able to touch anything, negotiating the one way system, they will finally emerge another couple of hours later with an odd shaped bedside lamp, a washing up bowl and plastic brush together with another scented candle and holder to add to the collection already in the sideboard. After having an argument or two with the wife, shouting at the kids, and the car overheating, you get home to a socially distanced  boast to neighbours, friends and family that you had a great day out!

Josh had a delivery of a 2.8kg tin of Jalapeños, apparently when he had a few beers the other night he saw them on offer on Hot UK Deals, £3.31 and no delivery charge.  I'm just glad that toilet rolls are easier to get hold of now!

Tuesday 2nd June - looks like being the last of the sunny and warm days, Grunters cut my hair again, good job done!

Wanted to paint the garden furniture at home, looking to get Silver Birch as in Owermoigne but nowhere local seemed to have it, went to Leekes and ended up with ‘Mint’. Spent the afternoon on the first coat and managed to do all apart from one bench, with help from Josh and Grunters. 

Grunters hosted this week’s Craft Beer Hour, it all looked to be successful with plenty of audience participation, including offerings from Nath and Matti!

Felt a bit of discomfort sitting down this evening and discovered that a big spot had appeared on my bum! With a bit of contortionism I managed to dab a bit of Witch Doctor on the spot in the hope that it would subside somewhat by tomorrow. Anna said I shouldn't be putting this sort of thing in my blog but I explained that it's supposed to be a true and accurate record of my observations and experiences throughout lockdown, I can't just pick out the nice bits!

Wed 3rd June - the spot has grown even bigger! It is now even more uncomfortable as when I walk it is right on the edge of my bum crack, so another large dab of Witch Doctor was successfully applied! 

We had a bit of rain overnight and it's drizzling this morning, that bloody grass is going to shoot up now after all that sunshine followed by rain! 

Mad bin lorry day again, 5 passed by our house in about 5 minutes! Josh and Sophie counted another 3 more after I went upstairs. 

Had a sort out of a drawer in the bedroom where I used to keep old tax returns etc, I found stuff going back to 2003/4, thought it was about time I could get rid of it!

Thurs 4th June - you will all be pleased to know that my spot has subsided somewhat following more liberal applications of Witch Doctor. Still a bit painful but better than yesterday. 

Woke up this morning and Anna said ‘you were a pain in the arse last night’. Apparently I was stealing the duvet one minute then throwing the whole thing on her the next. Then I was shouting that we had run out of ham, and that it was 1916! What's all that about? The frightening this is I didn't have any alcohol at all yesterday! 

My turn for shopping again today so off I trotted with my list down to Lidl, there was no queue and quiet in the shop. I bought some more ham, dream disaster averted!

The new coffee machine is arriving today, earlier in the week I got accused by Josh of leaving him ‘short measures’, as I make coffee for me and Anna, leaving some warming in the jug for him when he eventually gets up! I knew after the second accusation that I had put in plenty of water, it was then established that the old one had sprung a leak!

Well following last week's political offering this week has been a bit of a contrast, we will see what week 11 brings! 

Coronavirus diary of a moaner Week 9

9th week in lockdown, restrictions are starting to be eased, lets see what this week brings.

Fri 22nd May - went down to Owermoigne and back again today. The outdoor wooden garden furniture hasn't been treated this year and is looking very dry and tatty. I have decided rather than staining or oiling as in previous years, I would give it a paint. A stop off to Homebase in Blandford on the way down resulted in the purchase of some grey garden furniture paint. The shelves were nearly empty so not a great choice on colour. I spent the best part of 4 hours sanding down, cleaning with white spirit, then painting but still only did the table and 2 benches. I will have to do the 2 chairs next week. I had anticipated that Anna may help with sanding or painting but she spent the 4 hours undertaking vital tasks like emptying 3 pots containing flowers as they were getting overrun with ants, replanting the plants into the garden and planting 2 lavender bushes into another pot. But did I say anything???
Priti Patel announces the 2 week quarantine period for anyone entering U.K from 8th June, why then?why not straight away, or why wasn't this put into place at the very start of lockdown in March. Talk about closing the stable door after the horse has bolted!
Friday night beers went down well, new Tiptoe, Covert, Double Crosser and Hibernation from Stealth Brew Co.

Sat 23rd May - all over Twitter and elsewhere that Dominic Cummings saw fit to drive 260 miles to his parents whilst he was socially isolating. I won't go through all the details as I am sure you are all aware of what went on but I am disgusted that Boris and his cronies back his actions. He should be sacked, he is giving carte blanche to every idiot in the country to do exactly what they wish. How can they stand and clap the NHS every week when one of their own cannot be bothered to follow the rules and they support him. Go face to face with those that have had relatives die, given they were not even allowed to be with them at the end, and tell them that he was justified to take this action! Apparently someone also said that it just 'happened' to be Dominic Cummings' mothers birthday that weekend. I had no confidence in this government before this but I am totally disgusted with their response to this situation.
I am so incensed by this situation that's I decided to email our MP Michelle Donelan, I pointed out that the majority of her constituents, whichever party they may support, would agree that he must go. I know full well that as usual she will toe the party line whatever her own personal view may be. I have asked her that if she agrees with Boris and his cronies then perhaps she would like to visit the hardworking health workers at the RUH or bereaved families on a face to face basis to explain her point of view. I wait in anticipation of her response.
Rant over, for now! We lit the pizza oven again as it's becoming a usual Saturday lockdown tradition. Had some great pizzas and a few beers, finishing off with Josh's home made Cowslip Brews Chunky Bastard. It was 10.1 vol when brewed, goodness knows what it is now! It was in fact very drinkable, a very fruity number with marmalade type undertones.

Sun 24th May - Happy 6th birthday to Inca. Another sunny but windy day ahead. Still seething about Dominic Cummings, I signed and shared on Facebook and Twitter the petition to get rid of him. Boris has disappeared and despite reports that he supports Cummings he has, as usual, not appeared and does not have the guts to face everyone to give his own point of view. His complete lack of leadership skills has come to the fore in the handling of the lockdown, he is constantly conspicuous by his absence preferring to send out his minions to face the music.
Boris finally was pressurised into coming out of hiding and take the daily Coronavirus briefing. What a bloody farce that was, he cowardly backed Cummings even though he, and every other Conservative MP must know that he broke the rules and should be sacked. There are so many cowards in the Tory party with the majority of MP's toeing the party line just to keep their jobs. What they should reflect on is the fact that they were elected by their constituents, the majority of whom, I am sure, would agree that he should be sacked. Respect to the minority of Tory MP's that have the guts and morals to stand up for what they know is right. Funnily enough no response yet from the 'wonderful' Michelle Donelan, but everyone locally knows that she will just blindly follow whatever she is told by the leadership.
Rant over again, for the time being, the rest of the day was sunny with a couple of drinks in the garden.

Mon 25th May - Bank Holiday. What a bloody hot day, but after days of nagging by Mein Fuhrer and Deputy I had to give in and cut the grass. Then later after pronouncing it perfect I got stick for leaving one buttercup unmowed! Then she asks me to open the Shed to air it out then remove the lounging chairs that were in there. That was after I had successfully sidestepped her request to get some pots out of there for her tomato plants. By removing the chairs I had cleared a path for her to get her pots, did she get them out for the rest of the day, no!
We then had the announcement that Dominic Cummings was going to explain himself on tv. Who in their right mind thought that this would make things any better. If anything it made things much worse, who would believe that you would drive 30 miles each way to test your eyesight, just happening to get out at a beauty spot, then stopping off for a wee in the woods on the way home. Obviously if you were going to do this you would take along your wife and four year old child, when previously you were very concerned for their safety and had to drive them 260 miles. All this time not explaining why his wife couldn't drive!! Again it just happened to be his wife's birthday this time! I could go on with this rant for hours, but DC, your days must be numbered, wake up and smell the coffee Boris!

Tues 26th May - well the first Conservative MP has resigned the Dominic Cummings affair. He felt that he couldn't face his constituents that had lost family to the virus, couldn't be with them at the end and weren't allowed to attend their funerals. Respect to him for standing up for his principles. At the other end of the spectrum that spineless weasel Michael Gove was interviewed. He actually started to say that he had previously driven to test his eyesight, halfway through this conversation he realised what's a prick he sounded and cut dead what he was going to say.
Anna had a bit of a classic, Sophie was talking about somebody selling 200g of sourdough starter culture, Anna then asked how much is 200g? Perhaps there is a clue in the mention of the 200g!
Mein Fuher had cracked the whip again, I had to clean out her water butt while it was empty, then had to paint the top of a chest of drawers that guests in Owermoigne had damaged!
Another boiling hot day!

Wed 27th May - more jobs in the heat, this time I stained the decking then put a second coat on the chest of drawers. Boris had to face the Commons Liaison Committee and just demonstrated that he hasn't got a clue what is going on which is why he needs Cummings, who is basically running the country. When put on the spot he kept saying that we must follow the will of the people and get past this to concentrate on the Coronavirus and economy. Has he not seen the polls in the newspapers, including the Tory Mail,which clearly state the will of the people is for him to sack DC.
I caught Grunters out in the evening taking photos of cans of beer stuffed into bushes again. I just happened to pop out for a wee then noticed her bending over taking photos. I had to make it known that I had seen her, Josh then came out of the Shed laughing, and then she accused him of texting me to catch her out! He hadn't, it was sheer coincidence!

Thurs 28th May - still no reply from Michelle Donelan, I note from her Twitter page that she has stated that's she need some time to reply as she has had over 1300 emails! Sorry Michelle but doesn't that's demonstrate the views of your constituents? I bet she has never had anywhere near 1300 emails on only one subject before! She includes in her Tweet that we should move on because Cummings did not break the law. I have politely pointed out to her that Durham police have now stated that he did break the law and perhaps she may wish to review her original decision, no hope! When I eventually get a reply to my email I will ask her if she would like to try out her eye sight by driving the few miles to Melksham, as I don't think she knows where it is!

Well another week over with a lot to talk about. I make no apolgies for it being political but that reflects how strongly I feel. Whatever your political views I believe that's you should be able to trust your government, they have lost all credibility in their handling of this, I despair for our future.

Corona virus diary of a moaner Week 8

Another week of lockdown fun and frivolity!

Friday 15th May - first venture out for nearly 2 months, we went to Owermoigne to sort out the garden. Luckily my housekeeper and her son had done a first cut of the lawn last week but it was still very long. It was a hot day and hard work mowing and then strimming the edges, but it's all worth it and looks so much better. It was good to get out for the day as well. Got back for a sit in the garden with a few beers.

Jade text to say that Raf had developed a temperature, she rang 111 as advised, for some reason they then sent around paramedics to the house. All they did was take his temperature, say that he's probably got it and for him to isolate for 7 days and Jade to isolate for 14 days. They had no testing kits with them and did not give advice to go and get themselves tested. After they had gone Jade managed to get a testing slot in Swindon for that afternoon. We will have to wait and see how long it takes to get the results. My observations are, why on earth do they need to send paramedics round to tell them what they already expected. Why can't 111 just advise that they go to a testing centre and ideally make the appointment there and then whilst on the phone? If they do send paramedics round surely they should carry a supply of testing kits with them, they indicated to Raf and Jade that they had already done many of these type of visits. Also by sending round paramedics it is a waste of valuable PPE and there is a possibility that they could pass on the virus to their next patient. This government and health service managers couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery!
I had noticed on Facebook that Leigh's recent posts have renamed Spain to 'lovely Spain'. Every time she mentions it she puts 'lovely' in front. Then yesterday I noticed that she had put a comment on a posting for a bar in Spain saying she couldn't wait to get back to their 'lovely' bar. Thought I would send her a Whattsap which read 'Noticed your comment on El Toro bar about it being a 'lovely' bar, would that be in 'lovely' Spain? I had noticed that Spain had changed its name on all of your posts to 'lovely' Spain. 'Lovely' weather BTW'. Never mind, she's a 'lovely' old dear!

Saturday 16th May - it's Saturday pizza oven day again! Anna went shopping to get Raf some Lucozade as he told Jade that his mum always used to get him Lucozade when he didn't feel very well! Anna couldn't remember that but went to get some for him.
Did my good deed for the day, went shopping to Lidl, at the check out I was socially distancing behind an old lady at the till. Her shopping came to £51.60 but after counting all the money in her purse she only had just under £50. She didn't want me to help her bless her, but I insisted and in no time we had all her shopping back on the shelves!!
This actually was nothing to do with me, but I picked it up on Twitter and it made me laugh so thought I would include it on my blog.
We should have been flying back from Antigua today, at least we still have it to look forward to sometime in the future whereas it would have all been over.
Few beers in the Shed and then lit up the Pizza oven with again some great pizzas.
Endured a bit of Unity Brewery's weekly tasting session but unfortunately they are so boring, I know that they are brewers and not tv presenters but they could do with a personality transplant.
Retreated back indoors and managed to find a Pet Shop Boys concert on TV while channel surfing. It was a great watch, took me back to the 80's. I even then managed to stay awake for Match of The Day showing the 19 greatest goals in the opinion of Alan Shearer and Ian Wright.

Sunday 17th May - Had an email overnight from Virgin Atlantic via my Resolve complaint just giving me their same standard reply for the third time now. They just keep repeating that I will get my refund but due to the numbers they will not give a timescale. This is in contravention of the CMA government directive of 30th April which states that airlines must give a timescale for refund and it must be reasonable. I have reported them to the CMA and had acknowledgement that they are looking into the whole airline refund practices. I have also gone onto Twitter and keep getting the same answers from them so next step I have found the direct email address of the Chief Executive and will see if that produce some any results.
Josh cooked a cracking Sunday fry up.
Sat in the garden for a bit but although sunny the wind was a bit chilly. Josh and Sophie made a good ham and spinach Lasagne for dinner, it was very filling but I managed!

Monday 18th May - Raf and Jade have got their results back, both negative luckily. I am quite impressed with the speed of the test, done Friday afternoon and result Monday morning. Goodness knows why Raf has had a high temperature, probably caught something from the skanky dead birds he uses to teach the dogs to retrieve. Although Raf is convinced that they have got the tests wrong and he has the virus! Don't think so!
I received an email back from Virgin Atlantic Executive Office stating that they are looking into my complaint and will respond within three days, I don't hold out too much hope!
Sunny and warm day, took Inca for a walk to Giles Wood, very few people about and she loved rolling in the fox and horse poo! Straight in the shower when we got her home.

Tues 19th May - messed up the coffee machine this morning, when filling up the coffee beans I spilt some into the water section as I hadn't shut the lid. I therefore fished out the offending coffee beans with a spoon and put them back in the bean hopper. Unfortunately I then made all of the beans in the hopper too wet and they wouldn't grind properly as they clogged up the grinder. Oh well, an Americano from the Tassimo machine was a good substitute. I then had to empty out the machine, clean it then leave it outside in the sunshine to dry, I also put the coffeee beans into the oven on a low heat to dry. All that for a cup of coffee?
As anticipated the reply from Virgin Atlantic CEO was just a repeat of the previous standard replies. I have now filled out a claim for Section 75 of CCA refund from the credit card company.
Another walk to Giles Wood with Inca, it's a very warm day. Sat in the garden all afternoon with a couple of beers but not until after 4pm. Talking of beer the order for this week's delivery has gone in, 5lts of Doublecrosser, 5 ltrs Covert, 3ltrs Hibernation and 5ltrs of the new Hibernation. Should keep us going over the Bank Holiday weekend.

Wed 20th May - Inca is going back home today, she is itching and scratching and needs her latest bout of immunotherapy. Took her to Giles Wood for a run then Jade picked her up in the afternoon.
Another very hot day, sat in the garden reading a book all afternoon. Josh had ordered some Shofferhofer Grapefruit Wheat Beer Mix cans, they are only 2.5vol but really refreshing served cold in this weather.

Thurs 21st May - my turn to do the weekly shopping, another's trip to Lidl. I timed it right this week, no queue to get in and also went straight to the till without queueing. It was Greek week in Lidl and I spotted bottles of Retsina, I couldn't resist the temptation and bought a couple of bottles.
Looking through Twitter I noticed the new Man City third kit shirt to be introduced next season, it has a paisley design. Grunters, the paisley princess, has set a new trend, we did wonder whether they would be bringing out hideously clashing paisley shorts as per Grunters' style.
I note in this great weather that the seaside resorts are getting packed with day visitors. They are reporting that people are travelling hours, so my observation is that with the public toilets, cafe's, restaurants, pubs and bars closed at the moment are people crossing their legs all day? I think not and that every verge, bush, wood and farm gateway must now be in use as the new public conveniences. I am not necessarily opposed to some lifting of travel restrictions but surely a mileage limit should have initially been set, say 50 or 60 miles from home maximum, or travel only within the county wherever you live.

Let's see what next week brings!

Coronavirus diary of a moaner Week 7

Another week in lockdown looms. VE Day 75th anniversary, Grunters birthday, Boris' easing of the lockdown measures, hopefully something to moan about this week.

Fri 8th May - Bank holiday for 75th anniversary of VE Day. Lovely hot day, eagerly awaiting the delivery of Covert and the new Hibernation later today. Made Grunters' birthday cake, a chocolate sponge which will have a fresh cream and raspberry filling tomorrow. While I had the ingredients out and oven on I also made a Lemon Drizzle for the 'Beer Santa's' on their delivery later.
Thought I would ring mother as it was VEDay Anniversary, I started off with a rendition of We'll Meet Again closely followed by Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag. I asked her if she remembered VE Day and the party they may have had in the street, she said she wished she had the old photo from that day where my sister was dressed up and sitting in the street. I kindly reminded her that VE Day was 1945 and my sister wasn't born until 1952 so she would have had a bit of trouble being there! We later established that she gave my sister this particular photo, it was of the queens coronation party in 1953! I then had to tell my mother that she would have been 16 on VE Day and couldn't she remember it? I was just told that I confuse her and get her all muddled up. We then got onto the 'wonderful' times they had during the war and how it made them better people. She then says she would rather have the war than this current Coronavirus lockdown. I did remind her that would she rather that her grandchildren and great grandchildren were sent off to war on the front line, we would be subject to severe rationing, and there would be no TV or easy communication to call her every day! Think she finally saw sense!
They dragged out Vera Lynn again, to be honest I thought she was already dead but she is 103, good on the old dear! She seems to appear at every war anniversary going singing 'We'll meet again'. Although obviously she hasn't got long left perhaps they ought to consider cryogenically freezing her to defrost her for the 100th anniversary!
The beer order arrived, had a few in the sunshine, had dinner then watched tv with a very tired Inca snuggled up to me as she had been out in the garden all day. I did manage a short snore through Gogglebox.

Sat 9th May - Grunters 30th, Josh cooked up Mexican breakfast taco's for breakfast washed down with Bucks Fizz. While Grunters went to see her mum and dad we decorated the shed with balloons and Happy 30th birthday posters. I still had chance before she came home to do the raspberries and cream for her birthday cake and get it into the fridge.
Josh bought her 30 beers for 30 years, it was only when she opened the boxes and had a recount that it was established that he had miscounted and bought 31, or more likely, is Sophie actually a year older!
A very warm afternoon, trust Grunters to get this weather when it was cloudy and drizzly on my big birthday,! But do I complain? Bloody right I do!
I made Ouzo mojitos to go with the Greek meal that Josh made of Souvlalki, Chicken Gyros, Haloumi, Greek salad, Tzatziki, Hummus and flat bread. Later we had the birthday cake, that seemed to go down ok!
The Hibernation and Covert were going down a treat.

Sun 10th May - Doesn't look to be so hot today, looks to be quite windy from my position lying in bed at 10.40am. Weather didn't improve once I'd got up. We had a lazy day, even Inca couldn't be bothered to move from the sofa. Lovely Lasagne for dinner. We all sat down in anticipation of Boris' great easing of restrictions speech to the nation. What a complete waste of time, the blustering idiot made the whole nation more confused that they were before with so many unanswered questions. We will have to wait again for the 50 page explanation to be released to tomorrow.

Mon 11th May - still chilly but more sunny. Inca has had a new lease of life and spent the morning whining or bounding about like a complete idiot. I think this was a sign that she fancied getting out, so off we went for a walk around the local fields which seemed to calm her down for the rest of the day.
Boris had obviously not communicated his new 50 page easing of restrictions to his MP's or cabinet, several of which were questioned on TV in the morning, including his deputy Dominic Raab, who all got things completely wrong when questioned. If his own MPs do not know how this is going to work moving forward what hope do the general public have? There seem to be some crazy rules within this document, you can travel to work, be with your collleagues all day inside but you can only meet up with one other person from outside your household and this must be in the open air! And this cannot be in the garden, it must be a public place??? You can drive anywhere in the country as long as you come back the same day, but then they appeal for the public not to go to popular beauty spots or tourist places. What do they think is going to happen! People travelling into the country are going to have to self isolate for fourteen days, but not yet! Why on earth was this not brought in at the start of the outbreak? It is obvious that this is far too late and would have saved thousands of lives if done very early on! Who actually thought up these rules, someone with no touch on reality, Dominic Cummings perhaps?
Enough of my rant! I could go on all day. I was appointed head chef for the day and made a Polish Bigos for dinner, a type of hunters stew with Saurkraut, pork and Polish sausage.

Tues 12th May - not much of a happening day, sunny but still a bit chilly. Made my complaint via Resolver about Virgin Atlantic. They were quite happy to take our money nearly 11 months ago but when it comes to giving a refund for their cancellation they refuse to give me any timescale. I fully understand their position that I am just one of thousands but according to the government CMA department they must indicate a timescale for refund and it must be reasonable, they refuse to do this.

Wed 13th May - Russ's 60th birthday, welcome to the club! We should have been on a yatch charter day trip and sunset cruise off Antigua. Oh well, these things are sent to try us! Also relaxation of lockdown rules, lets await the chaos. I will use the relaxation of the rules to drive down to Owermoigne at the weekend but will only go straight to the house to do some maintenance then back later, we are not allowed to stay over. Unfortunately as the weather is supposed to be good at the weekend I fear that the coast will be packed with day trippers but the police will not be able to do anything about it!

Thurs 14th May - sunny but chilly again, Anna has tomorrow off due to built up flexitime so we will go down to Owermoigne tomorrow to do our chores. Pity we can't stay over but I do understand the reasoning behind the decision, we would only stay in at our house but others, if allowed, would not follow the same path. To be honest I am looking forward to the trip, the furthest I have been in the last 7 or so weeks is to Lidl and back, about 4 times. Anna, with a bit if my help, cleared a wider path through the garage which had been narrowing with all the dumped boxes, garden implements and Josh's brewing paraphernalia.  Only the other side of the garage with all of Josh's work display stuff to get sorted now! Josh was appointed weekly shopper today going to Sainsbury's.

Another week of lockdown over, going forward let's see how Boris' new easing of restrictions pan out. I have done pretty well in the avoidance of chores this week, long may it continue!

Corona virus diary of a moaner Week 6

Sixth week of my lockdown diary, it's 60th birthday week so plenty to moan about!

Fri 1st May - supposed to be going to Gatwick today before stopping over for our flight to Antigua tomorrow. At least I've got the weekly beer delivery to look forward to today. Another highlight will be the the first pouring of the home brew session IPA which is due to be ready today. I will report later on how good, or not, it is.
I know it's bin collection day but why on earth have all of Wiltshire's bin lorries been driving around the roundabourt outside our house today? On several occasions they have gone fully round the roundabout and gone back in the direction they came from, on one occasion stopping right outside our house for a couple of minutes. It's a mystery, are they lost, are they taking part in some obscure bin lorry rally? Who knows?
Josh had recorded Great British Menu, I found it a bit pretentious, especially when they were making pre-deserts! What's all that about? Isn't a 3 course dinner enough without having to stick in something else? I might have a pre-pint before my next pint later on!
Only 44 years ago today since Bobby Stokes slid that ball past Alex Stepney to win the FACup for the might Saints, what a day made even more pleasurable that it was against United.
Anna rang my mother, a friend of hers died last week, she told Anna that she wanted to send a cheque 'to my dead friend'. Luckily she was speaking to Anna and not me, I would have told her that her dead friend may have a bit of trouble cashing the cheque. Obviously what she meant was that she wanted to do a donation but she couldn't do it online as she doesn't have any form of online access. She therefore went to call the undertaker, after 5 minutes of trying to explain to the poor woman on the other end that she wanted to make a donation for her 'dead friend', it was established that the woman had no idea what she was on about as she had dialled the wrong number!
The session IPA is an acquired taste, the first pint was dreadful with bits floating around in it, but that must have just been what was congregating around the tap. It is a bit too malty and not much like an IPA, lucky we had 'dry hopped' it with extra hops as there is a bit of a lack of hoppiness. Still, we will drink it!
Sat 2nd May - should be on that plane to Antigua today but who would want to be doing that when you can be locked down at home!
A box was delivered with my name on, I saw it said 'gift' on the outside so I put it to one side to open tomorrow on my birthday. Luckily Josh was a bit more observant than me and saw the luminous sticker stating 'open immediately, refrigerated items', it was a much appreciated cheese and wine hamper from my sister.
As it's Saturday it looks like the pizza oven is going to be fired up again. Weather is not supposed to be too bad. Pizzas were fantastic again!
Sun 3rd May - 60th birthday, what a day to be really cheerful, should be waking up in Antigua but cloudy Melksham is not quite the same. Woken up at 8.05am by my phone pinging with Happy Birthday messages, don't people realise it's Sunday and at my age I need a bit of a lie in! Great to be wished a happy birthday but just leave it until after 10am.
Get downstairs for breakfast to find a 'brunch' menu on my place at the table. Including bottomless mimosas, smashed avacado on sourdough, tofu scamble, oat and almond granola, vegan farmhouse breakfast or Cowslip Mews farmhouse breakfast! Those of you that have already read my previous blogs would know that this is a massive piss take. Brunch is just an Americanism high jacked by pretentious yuppies! He was pretty confident that I would go for a real breakfast as he didn't even have the ingredients for most of the rest!
Then looking on Facebook I find the 'lockdown video' that Sophie has made, as you are all aware this is another of my particular dislikes. I have to say though that the video was brilliant and there was some great dancing to One Step Beyond by my friends, family and aquaintances. This made my day!
Had a socially distancing visit from Raf, Jade and the grandchildren, it was really good to see them on my birthday. They have left Inca with us for a few days.
 As we couldn't go to Antigua, Josh made a Caribbean dinner of smoked Jerk ribs, jerk chicken, pineapple salsa. Coleslaw, rice and peas with a jerk gravy. It was hot but very tasty. Sophie had made a banoffee birthday  cake which we tasted a bit later with a couple of beers in the Shed.
Although we couldn't go away, overall it was a great day.
Mon 4th May - not a lot going on today, snooze on the sofa most of the day with Inca. Cleaned out the pizza oven and sat in the garden with Inca in the afternoon for an hour until it got a bit cloudy.
Tues 5th May - cleaned the roof inside the Shed where it had previously leaked before our re-roofing efforts, looks better than it was. Josh gave the Shed a good vacuum. Again not a lot going on today.
Wed 6th May - nice day, cut the grass, thought I'd better as it was getting a bit long. Took Inca out for her evening walk, she has spent the whole day in the back garden sat in the sun and chasing shadows. Mother put her bins out yesterday evening ready for them to collect the following morning, when she was getting ready for bed at about 10.30pm she suddenly thought that she hadn't brought in the empty bins. So she gets her shoes on and goes outside with her torch to bring in the empty bins, she couldn't fathom out why they were still full! It's only then that she realises that she only put them out a bit earlier that day ready for them to be collected the following morning! Well I suppose she is 91!
Thurs 7th May - another lovely day, my turn to do the weekly shop, a trip to Lidl. Trust me to arrive at the wrong time, I waited in the queue for about 10 mins which was no real hardship in the sunshine, but when I came out there was no queue at all. Nice afternoon spent in the garden with a well deserved beer or 3.

Well, birthday week over, VE 75th anniversary tomorrow, Grunters 30th birthday on Saturday when Josh will officially be the toy boy for the 'cougar'. Hopefully plenty to moan about next week!