10 weeks in and still recording my thoughts and observations throughout the lockdown. Last week was more political than usual, I will attempt to cut down on it this week, but can't promise anything.
Fri 29th May - Josh told us last night that Roger Ryman had died yesterday morning aged 52 from cancer. He was the Brewing Director and Head Brewer of St Austell and the reason for their recent success. He was ahead of his time with innovation from the more traditional beers and was responsible for the introduction of Tribute to the nation, which was originally launched as Daylight Robbery in 1999 as part of the eclipse celebration and subsequently relaunched to Tribute following its great success. He will be greatly missed by the brewing industry and all at St Austell and Bath Ales. RIP.
I answered a knock on the door and found the delivery of 2 boxes labelled from Boots, addressed to Anna. Upon querying what this 'unauthorised purchase' was, I was told that it was her 'bargain' purchase. She found that the lip balm that she uses in the summer to ward off cold sores was reduced from £8 to £4. Great in itself but also if she bought 2 she got one free! So £8 for 3 which would normally be the price for 1. Yes but surely 3 lip balms do not justify 2 boxes? Ah, this is where strange women's logic kicks in, delivery would have been £3.99 (still making it cheap for the 3), but no, delivery was free if you spent over £30. So in addition to 3 lip balms, we have numerous bottles of shower gel, shaving gel etc, which we now have to find a home for and store for the next year or so until used up!
The Friday lunchtime tradition in lockdown has been a ploughmans, in readiness to soak up the beer later for the Friday night beer session. Grunters decided to make sausage rolls, Josh did the sausage meat and Red Leicester filling and Grunters did the pastry. Whilst they were cooking Grunters was taking so much interest more or less ‘glued’ to the oven, that I though she would soon be 'drooling' like Albie the dog, when waiting for a treat! I do have to say though that they were very good.
We have set an unofficial time that we can have our first beer at 4pm, although that can be relaxed on Fridays and weekends. We were sat outside in the scorching heat and I was parched. At around 3.30pm I casually queried whether it was beer time, Josh ruled that as it was so close to 4pm we might as well wait. Well, the time was going extremely slowly, until out of boredom I saw a plane flying overhead and mentioned this, Grunters then comes out with the revelation that there's an App that when you point your phone at the plane, tells you what flight it is and where they are going from and to. After a bit of my usual trouble finding the App, and with Josh's intervention, I had it up and running. Just imagine the excitement when I found that the first plane coming over was a FedEx plane from USA to Charles De Gaulle in Paris. Several small private planes and a helicopter later it was realised that I had missed the 4 pm beer deadline and it was a few minutes past! Beer in hand I proceeded to monitor the skies. We ended up with three FedEx planes from different departure airports in the States flying overhead to CDG. I am thinking about writing to FedEx to charge them for using the airspace over our house.
Anna noticed on Twitter that there was a 3 hour queue of cars to get into Melksham recycling centre. Who in their right mind would queue in the scorching heat to get rid of their rubbish? Surely nothing can be that desperate to get rid of? The world has gone mad. Mind you I can guarantee that the average age of those queuing was over seventy.
Grunters had quite a few beers and by around half nine had eyes like pissholes in the snow, after singing and swaying along to Take That on the Meerkat music download. I went indoors and posted on Facebook a couple of pictures I took of Tribute and Proper Job, as we raised a glass for Roger Ryman. Shortly afterwards I had notification that Grunters had commented on my post, It read 'A fitting Tribute, never Fogey', never Fogey? what's all that about, obviously should have been 'forget'? In my usual helpful manner, and in the knowledge of Grunters' state if inebriation, I did Whatsapp her to as 'what is never fogey, pissed again'. A couple of minutes later to receive the message ‘Thank you, I've changed that’. I did reply 'at least you didn't fogey'.
Sat 30th May - back down to Owermoigne for a few more jobs. I told Anna the night before that I would set the alarm for 7 to get there early, however I actually set it for 6! By 6.45am we were showered and in the car. I had been given a £60 Tesco voucher for my birthday from my mum, so I had decided to spend it on something we desperately need, like more beer! On my way to Dorset usually I call into Tesco in Shaftesbury as it's right by the main road. Given it was only 7.30 I though that it would be good to stop off to stock up, avoiding the queues. There were more cars and people about than anticipated but still fairly quiet. We only had a small trolley and piled in our beer, mainly packs of cans, plus some flowers and milk. They only had 2 tills on, right next to each other, with one massive queue stretching down one aisle. We decided to use the self service which was empty, I asked the lady covering the self service if I could use the Gift Card there, apparently not. I then saw this on a small notice but it said use the till or customer services. She helpfully got through to customer services on her 'walkie talkie' and explained that we only had a few packs of beer, flowers and milk. He refused to serve us and told her that we had to go to the till. As I previously said, there was a massive queue for the only 2 tills open. I was of half a mind to dump my trolley there and then and walk out, but it was beer after all! So we decide to just pay with our debit card and use the gift card for a normal shop some other time. There were only 16 items and it only took us a couple of minutes to check out. When walking back past customer services there were no customers whatsoever at his till, lazy git! I cannot see why, with today's technology, they cannot get a Gift Card to be accepted a the self service tills. I am not impressed with their service and feel a complaint coming on, plus I will be stopping at Lidl in Blandford in future.
Hurt my back doing my Dorset jobs, we had change drivers on the way back just south of Warminster. At least it gave me an opportunity for a short snooze on the way home!
Back home for the beer and Pizza night.
Anna got a bit chilly and went indoors, I thought to get her cardi, but no she reappeared with some floaty bit of cloth on, both me and Josh expressed our surprise only to be told that it was her Kimono, and apparently Grunters said she had one similar. Kimono my arse!
Idiots visiting Durdle Door again today, there were thousands down there, far more than a usual busy summer day. Just to make things worse there we're complete morons jumping off the 'Door' into the sea. This resulted in 3 serious and one minor injury. Also involved 2 coastguard and 1 air ambulance helicopters, a lifeboat crew, 6 police cars and numerous others. It is just unbelievable how selfish and stupid people can be.
Sun 31st May - just imagine Anna's self-satisfied smugness when I reluctantly had to admit to her that I had run out of shower gel. She theatricality proceeds to lay out 8 bottles on the bed so I could take my pick, when I count them and exclaim '8 bottles', she then tells me that she has got another of the Nivea! So off I trot to the bathroom after making my pick, clutching my Boots Zingy Raspberry and Pomegranate and a flea in my ear,
Her smugness continued into breakfast, she had made the coffee but asked me to pour it, at first view it looked like she hadn't done enough and I pronounced that it would only fill 2 cups, just imagine her face when it perfectly filled the 3 required cups!
Sent my complaint to Tesco, await their response. Then I had an automated response saying that due to the Coronavirus they were not replying to any emails, so they can give whatever customer service they want without dealing with any complaints!
On Friday I had told Josh and Grunters how cucumber is a wonder food. It is high in many of the vitamins and minerals we need to function, especially B vitamins. You can use it to clean your shoes, shine your taps and sink, stop your bathroom mirror from steaming up and use on squeaky hinges if you have no WD40. I did tell them one of the most important features was it's use to stop hangovers, so on Friday night after they had both had a few, Josh ate a chunk of cucumber before going to bed but Grunters didn't. Josh woke up as fresh as a daisy whilst Grunters was hanging! They both had a bit of cucumber before bed on Saturday night!
Mon 1st June - Great news, Ikea has opened again! As some of you may be aware I am great fan of a day trip to Ikea from my previous blog. It has been reported today that some people we're queueing at 5.45am for a store opening at 10am. Also in Warrington by around lunchtime there was a half hour wait to get into the car park with a three hour wait to then get into the store. Why on earth anyone would think that this is a good idea on a hot sunny day is beyond comprehension. When they finally do get in and undertake the Ikea shuffle, socially distancing, not being able to touch anything, negotiating the one way system, they will finally emerge another couple of hours later with an odd shaped bedside lamp, a washing up bowl and plastic brush together with another scented candle and holder to add to the collection already in the sideboard. After having an argument or two with the wife, shouting at the kids, and the car overheating, you get home to a socially distanced boast to neighbours, friends and family that you had a great day out!
Josh had a delivery of a 2.8kg tin of Jalapeños, apparently when he had a few beers the other night he saw them on offer on Hot UK Deals, £3.31 and no delivery charge. I'm just glad that toilet rolls are easier to get hold of now!
Tuesday 2nd June - looks like being the last of the sunny and warm days, Grunters cut my hair again, good job done!
Wanted to paint the garden furniture at home, looking to get Silver Birch as in Owermoigne but nowhere local seemed to have it, went to Leekes and ended up with ‘Mint’. Spent the afternoon on the first coat and managed to do all apart from one bench, with help from Josh and Grunters.
Grunters hosted this week’s Craft Beer Hour, it all looked to be successful with plenty of audience participation, including offerings from Nath and Matti!
Felt a bit of discomfort sitting down this evening and discovered that a big spot had appeared on my bum! With a bit of contortionism I managed to dab a bit of Witch Doctor on the spot in the hope that it would subside somewhat by tomorrow. Anna said I shouldn't be putting this sort of thing in my blog but I explained that it's supposed to be a true and accurate record of my observations and experiences throughout lockdown, I can't just pick out the nice bits!
Wed 3rd June - the spot has grown even bigger! It is now even more uncomfortable as when I walk it is right on the edge of my bum crack, so another large dab of Witch Doctor was successfully applied!
We had a bit of rain overnight and it's drizzling this morning, that bloody grass is going to shoot up now after all that sunshine followed by rain!
Mad bin lorry day again, 5 passed by our house in about 5 minutes! Josh and Sophie counted another 3 more after I went upstairs.
Had a sort out of a drawer in the bedroom where I used to keep old tax returns etc, I found stuff going back to 2003/4, thought it was about time I could get rid of it!
Thurs 4th June - you will all be pleased to know that my spot has subsided somewhat following more liberal applications of Witch Doctor. Still a bit painful but better than yesterday.
Woke up this morning and Anna said ‘you were a pain in the arse last night’. Apparently I was stealing the duvet one minute then throwing the whole thing on her the next. Then I was shouting that we had run out of ham, and that it was 1916! What's all that about? The frightening this is I didn't have any alcohol at all yesterday!
My turn for shopping again today so off I trotted with my list down to Lidl, there was no queue and quiet in the shop. I bought some more ham, dream disaster averted!
The new coffee machine is arriving today, earlier in the week I got accused by Josh of leaving him ‘short measures’, as I make coffee for me and Anna, leaving some warming in the jug for him when he eventually gets up! I knew after the second accusation that I had put in plenty of water, it was then established that the old one had sprung a leak!
Well following last week's political offering this week has been a bit of a contrast, we will see what week 11 brings!
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