can't think of anythign to whine about

A few months since my last grump and I still can't think of anything that is annoying me enough to blog about. Either the world is getting better or I'm getting less grumpy.

Crap web sites. Orange

My daughter trashed her phone, then lost her old backup one. She has a contract with Orange for another 8 months, so you might think it would be easy to go on their site and buy another. Nope! You can buy a new phone with a new contract, either monthly or pre-pay, or you can upgrade to a new phone on your existing contract after a certain stage, but can't apparently buy one as a replacement. The only option seems to be to buy a pre-pay phone and throw away the SIM card, but you also have to buy credit when you do that, and since she already has 600 minutes a month, the last thing we need is more credit.

Worse still, the Orange staff at their Ipswich branch can't even agree how much it costs. The web site says £73, the Orange guy says £79 plus £20 credit, his colleague insists it only needs £10 credit. I was so annoyed with them and their incompetence and total lack of caring about the discrepancies that I left without one.

Orange, start training your staff, start charging the same in your shops as on your site, and educate your staff on the correct figures, and most of all, stop trying to rip off customers who already pay you a fortune by insisting they buy extra stuff they don't want or need before you will sell them what they need. One thing is for sure. Once this contract terminates, I won't buy Orange again.

Damn progress

I've used a casio calculator all my life since they first put one on the market. My first one still works, but my daughter pinched it for school, so I have bought several new ones since, and not a single one of them is anything like as good as my first one.

This one seems to think that all results must be displayed as a fraction. 3600 blog entries viewed, 70 posts, a relatively simple calculation even in my head, but the calculator insists that I get 360/7 views per post. What kind of dumb answer is that?!!! Imagine your first maths exam: What is 360 divided by 7? Duh! 360/7. Imagine the school report.

Casio has lost it. Big time. Progress be damned!

chicken and egg, what's the problem?

We got here either by evolution or creation.

Evolution

Chickens evolved from other birds, which of course laid eggs.
The first bird that could definitely be called a chicken hatched from an egg laid by a bird that was not quite a chicken
The egg came first

Creation:

God created the world with fully formed animals, not eggs.
The chicken came first

Intelligent design, if you're woolly minded enough to believe in that:

God assembled the chicken genome, and ensured the development of the resultant embryo, which would then have developed in an egg, laid by another earlier kind of bird.
The egg came first.

proof of evolution v creation

My eyesight is failing fast. Getting old, or at least my eyes are. I can't read my computer any more without reading glasses, and I can't see any distance with them on, so I have to keep changing glasses and it annoys me greatly. There isn't a snowball's chance in a supernova that I could read the tiny print in a Bible without reading glasses. Evolution has no problem with that, I should have died decades ago, and am now just consuming energy with no gain to the species in terms of new kid production. So my eyes won't help my genes survive. However, if we were created, then either God is a really lousy engineer, or he doesn't want older people to read the Bible, and since people tend to die when they are older, and therefore are presumably the most important marketing target, he must also be a bad manager.

So we can reasonably conclude that we evolved, and that intelligent design is rubbish too, since our design is far from intelligent. Even a God on job experience could do better.

Waverley Excursions, what a shambles

We just had a holiday in Belfast and there were a bunch of tall ships there making a big stir. We booked on a Waverley Excursions cruise that was meanrt to accompany them as they sailed out of harvour, promising pole position to view them under full sail, rather than competing with the tens of thousands on the shore. On the day, we headed out very early to ensure a decent parking space in the small town of Donaghadee before the rush. Later we discovered that they had cancelled the cruise, leaving messages on our home phones well over an hour after we had left. It took ages to find out what had happened, but they claim the captain had decided the weather was too bad and the ship couldn't sail safely. To which claim I am extremely skeptical indeed. The sea was very smooth, not just in harbour, but along the rest of the shore. Their ship, the Balmoral, was highlighted in a press article later as being the only one that hadn't sailed that day. So either their captain isn't much of a sailor, or is unusually timid, or has very poor judgement, or more than likely, the company hadn't got enough bookings to make it worth their while so just tried to fob everyone off with a silly excuse and refund their cash. Given the time we'd invested, and the fact that we had missed out not just on the special day, we were of course too late to get a good position elsewhere to watch, so simply returning the fare is woefully inadequate. Such bad behaviour should be dealt with by awarding punitive compensation to everyone who was inconvenienced. Just returning cash means they suffered nothing and are free to do the same thing again and again. If you're reading this, don't even think of booking with Waverley Excursions. They might let you down just as badly, with no compensation for your inconvenience at all beyond a straight refund. There are good companies and bad companies, and Waverley have proved to be very firmly in the latter camp.

This morning I read that Eurotunnel's just had a breakdown leaving hundreds of passengers mid channel, in the dark, with no air conditioning, for 6 hours, with several people fainting. Their response: a refund, and vouchers for future trips. Slightly better than Waverley, but still far short of what would be honourable.

Wind

What's it with all this wind? Lovely sunny day again, love to sit out in the garden for a while, but 30 degrees wind chill, so it's freezing even though it's lovely and sunny. After a few weeks of air movign around, you'd think it would have filled up the low pressure areas by now. But wind is stupid, it goes round and round and round instead of going direct to the low pressure, just because the earth is spinning. What we need is baffles. We should put barriers up every few kilometres so that air can't move aroudn so freely, then harness the energy at  a few choke points. That would solve it. Expensive though, and I suppose the planes might have issues with it too. And the birds. And it would shield out the sun most of the day. Maybe not such a great idea. But I wish the wind would stop.

who's who, who cares?

I got a letter today from Cambridge Who's Who. Says I might be wonderful so they might want to include me. Pull the other one! Leaving aside the many Google citations, and a wonderful Youtube video, that suggest that Cambridge Who's Who is an elaborate scam, (which I have to say are pretty convincing, though of course one can never be sure, and like all the rest I will also avoid saying it is or isn't since of course I don't know for sure and certainly can't be bothered to find out), who the hell needs any sort of Who's Who in the age of the internet? Google made them pointless ages ago, along with many other directories. Anyone looking for me will find me easily on Google, (may they live forever and every one of their employees have seventy virgins massage them daily).

Anyway, the letter reminded me that a long long time ago, I got a letter from another Who's Who, offering me a listing in there, the one that appeared to be the original one I had heard of in the days when people went to libraries to find out who people were. So I can relay a little here from personal experience that may or may not be relevant to Cambridge Who's Who. I replied to the letter and said I would be happy to be listed so they arranged a telephone interview to get my details for the listing. All fine so far, but then the woman on the other end starting asking me which package I would like, the expensive one, very expensive one, or ludicrously expensive one? I said I wasn't interested in paying anything and it had said on the letter that it was free. She then basically accused me of wasting her time and asked why on earth had I replied if I didn't want to pay. Why would someone want to pay when it says clearly on the invitation that it is free? Anyway, if I didn't want to pay, they would only include me in the basic listing. I said that would be fine and didn't really care, and goodbye. And I never thought about it again till today.

But that was then and this is 2009, when the web is so well established as the medium for finding anything, I am amazed that there even still are any kind of Who's Who directories, and certainly I have no lingering interest in being in one. Who needs them? What do they do? Most importantly, would you do business with someone who goes to Who's Who rather than Google to find you? Anyone who came to me via that route would presumably do so in a letter rather than an email, and would be so far behind the times that it would be painful trying to communicate with them.

So I don't really care whether or not this letter is a scam, or whether Cambridge Who's Who is a perfectly legitimate organisation. At the very best, for people doing business in today's world, it is irrelevant. I've never seen a Who's Who listing, and I doubt I will ever feel any desire to look at one. I can Google anyone that counts in seconds and find out all I want to know about them.

Alana Taylor and changeification

I get a lot of commentary in the media and especially on the web, so am used to some people thinking I am an idiot, even a moron occasionally, but this one beggars belief. Her blog talks about the future of identity and personal branding, tracking and commenting on the future in her field. So she is basically in the same space as me, or maybe a novice version of Sherry Turkle. And yet she devotes a fairly large piece to criticising the whole field of futurology, which after all, is only studying the future, so certainly includes her blog. She says futurology is not a real career. Fine, lots of people think that, though it pays very well and is great fun, so I can't think of another career that I'd rather be in. But if she thinks so, why devote her own site to the same purpose? She is clearly a futurist herslef, at least part time, even as she pours scorn on the field.

And she says my site sucks, and looks like it was produced in 1998. Sure, I've always preferred substance over style, and actually haven't changed the style since 1995 when I wrote it since it works well and generates a lot of business as it is. And I use blogger instead of some other software, and dare to spend my time thinking instead of spending my time choosing fonts and sizes and layouts. But apart from this post, I don't spend my time slagging off other web sites, blogs or other futurists, even ones that don't realise they are futurists, or indeed shooting myself in the foot.

Her main point seems to be that other futurists aren't as stylish as she thinks she is. And futurology sites often aren't kept up to date. Well, many aren't, the owners presumably have other higher priority things to do with their time. So what? There are plenty of cool and trendy sites out there, and some futures companies do indeed put a great deal of effort into producing attractively presented outputs. Some make her stuff look bland and dated by comparison. It's a free market, and not everyone thinks that their their business depends on their web site looking cool and trendy.

We all have our niche. It's a pity that Alana inhabits such a negative one. Look in the mirror Alana. Changeification is just another futures site, one among hundreds of technology impact trackers. You're in the futures industry, hopefully doing well too. So think a little before slagging it off. That you don't think my site offers anything special is fine. Not everyone likes my stuff, but enough do.

National Express steals from honest customers

I am occasionally astonished at the poor quality of so called 'customer relations' departments. They seem to exist only to annoy angry customers still further. The reaction is all too often 'you are lying to us' or 'yes we believe you but we couldn't give a toss'. Sometimes companies manage to do both at the same time, illogical though it is.

A couple of weeks ago I lost a train ticket somewhere in the underground. At the gate, I showed the London Underground guy my receipt, and he immediately opened the gate and let me through, no questions, no moaning, he just did his job sympathetically and with understanding that it is an easy thing to do.

The contrast between London Undeground and National Express couldn't be greater. I went to their ticket booth to get a replacement and showed the guy there the receipt and he said 'if you've lost your ticket, you need to buy another one'. We can't replace it.' After trying and failing to get him to see some sense, and seeing that all I was managing was to indulge his power fling, I gave up and bought a new ticket. What a prat! On the train and in ipswich, the people were far more polite, but still refused to refund my ticket, accepting that I was telling the truth and had paid twice for the journey but insisting that they could do nothing because of their 'policy' of not refunding claims of lost tickets. Even a letter to 'customer services' with the receipts proving the double payment only received the same story. Why is it that these companies complain that customers abuse their staff, and people sometimes dodge fares, when they are only too happy to charge twice for the same journey when they can, effectively stealing from their honest customers?

I used to be an honest customer. I'm no longer a good one, and I will do all I can to minimise their future earnings.

Terminal 5

Since everyone else has been ranting about Terminal 5, I felt left out, so here is my contribution.

I arrived very early for my flight so had loads of time. Just as well. Leaving the tube station, there is a choice of lift or escalator, and not being so lazy I opted for the escalator. But it is three long, high escalators to get to the right level, and the open sides onto a huge drop are not good for people who don't like heights, like me. The lifts though open onto a glass floor, and from below you can look up to see the people walking above you, and it isn't even frosted glass! So ladies, don't wear a skirt if you're going there unless you want to feature on some dubious websites.

The architecture is reasonably attractive, but is more designed to scare people than to be welcoming. On arrival at the top of the escalators heading for departures, there is no sign where you are meant to go. Only signs for the car parks and arrivals. Eventually, across more glass floors, I gave up and went into arrivals and of course eventually stumbled across the check-in areas.

Even there, it is far from obvious where to go once you have your boarding pass. Then I eventually saw a security sign and headed there, and even when I was near it, it was still hard to find where to go. The security system itself has been designed by world class morons. With about 5 people in front of me, I though it was heaven, being used to huge queues at Stansted, but it still took 15 minutes to get through even with just those 5 people. I don't even know where to start describing what is so bad about it, so just imagine how you might design it if you were asked to make sure it would clog up, not work, and just annoy everyone, then you're not far from reality.

Again, once through there, of course you want to see a big sign saying Departure Lounge or Gates or something. What you actually find is a huge shopping mall with no clue that it is associated with an airport. Eventually you stumble across small signs that say you have to go downstairs again.

The whole shopping mall was almost empty. It was full of designer shops with far more staff than customers. I sat and watched some shops and never saw a single customer in some of them in 15 minutes. I wanted a paper but it was ages before I eventually found my way to W H Smith, which was tiny and very crowded. In fact, with no exaggeration, there were more people in that 20 x 50ft shop than the whole of the rest of the mall, even though it was hidden at one end of a very long walk. It was almost another hour before I found Starbucks.

The toilets are simply a disgrace, down-market of the dirtiest public toilets.
Firstly, the set I went into had 4 urinals. Not 40! And they were about an inch thick in pubic hairs and dirt. Probably because they had nice infrared sensors that flush automatically every time someone uses them, so the idiot managers probably concluded that they don't need cleaners, but clearly no-one considered that the water doesn't wash the rim, only the central part. The cubicles are even worse. The first three were filthy, the fourth was OK, but the lock only engages on the last millimetre, so you have to hope no-one tries the door or it is likely to open.

The airport is clearly designed firstly as a shopping mall. Any consideration of air travel has been a secondary consideration. Signage is appalling, the stuff people want and need is hidden away and severely under-provided, and immediately you leave the main shopping areas to go to the loo, you are in the 3rd world. Maybe there is lots of art and pretentious architecture, but what is the point when you are trying too hard to spot a sign that doesn't even exist to have any time left to enjoy art?

I could go on, but I am bored now.

In short, Terminal 5 is another huge London shopping mall that managed to get through planning constraints by pretending to be an airport terminal . Customers are treated with contempt, as no more than walking purses and wallets, their human needs ignored. And any notion of ergonomics has been thrown away to indulge the architects' egos.

Not impressed! I will now charge considerably more to customers who live in places that need me to travel through Terminal 5.

Avoid Yellowstay like the plague!

It is a long time since I have been so unimpressed by a company as I have been by Yellowstay who provide the apartment we hired for our Paris short break.

On arrival, no lock on the door so we were trapped in the apartment for 5 hours while they fixed that. The internet didn't work, the TV didn't work, the only light in the bedroom didn't work, and the telephone didn't work. By 8.30pm we could finally go out.

Oh, heating doesnt work properly either.

Next day the light failed again, but we havent been able to get in touch with them to fix it. So we settled down to watch a DVD. Guess what? DVD doesn't work.

Shower? Large plain glass window in the bathroom with the thinnest of lace curtains so unless you want to appear on the net on a voyeur site, better shower in the dark!

Web site says it is quiet here. Well, the drunks stop singing at about 1am and the church bells don't start again till about 7am.

Otherwise, the bed works and the apartment is liveable. Cheap and chearful, but liveable if they fix stuff.

So, if you are thinking about booking a place in Paris my strongest possible advice is to avoid Yellowstay like the plague.

iTunes on PC

I have been a loyal Mac user since 1987, even though my first ever mac was shipped with system disks that had the nVir virus on them. My first and last ever computer virus! Since then I have had about 15 Macs and a few PCs.

Then I bought an ipod and it was great.

Then I bought an iphone and it was also great.

Then I installed itunes on my PC too, having used it for years on my Macs. BIG mistake!!!

Windows media player was rubbish so I put iTunes on there.
Now when I shove in a CD it randomly oscillates between scanning it in to itunes or media player. Some tracks appear on itunes and some dont so rather than mess about it is usually easier to scan it in twice. And of course the C-drive quickly filled up, so I dragged all the music to the D drive. Surprise surprise, it doesn't work any more. Itunes can't find the files, even though on a Mac you can put stuff anywhere and it will always track it. So I tried to import them into itunes again, but surprise surprise, the itunes 'import folder' command only shows folders for importing that live on the C drive. More messing about trying to fool it into working, then I just gave up and trashed the library and rebuilt it from scratch on the D Drive. All the folders are gone of course and I have to sort out what i want on the various ipods all over again. What rubbish software! Hours wasted! The sort of stuff I expect on a PC, but Apple should really know better than to ship such trash. I'm sure someone will say I should have read the manual, but Mac users aren't supposed to need manuals and most things that should work do work. iTunes doesn't! Not the way its Mac users expect anyway.

And now since I discovered Quicktime doesn't work properly on a PC either. Videos in MPG that launch in quicktime only give a tiny little window and don't let you save them unless you've got 'pro', (which I have by the way but their stupid validation software prevents me using the pro I paid for on the updates, but that's another whinge). They have shipped a knackered version and are trying to pass it off as a proper utility. I never thought I'd say this but quicktime isn't a patch on media player on my PC.

I don't love Apple any more. I still hate PCs but I am rapidly going off Apple too.

Intro

I get irritated when things don't work the way they should unless there is a reasonable excuse. Otherwise it is usually because someone somewhere is an idiot or just isn't bothering to do their job properly. A lot of my time is wasted by other people, and it annoys me that I can't waste some of theirs to even things up. So having a good rant about someone or something on-line might keep my blood pressure down. And now I am working from home, I can't moan at Paul and Robin any more. Maybe I'll send them a link in case they miss it. Then again, since I left, I have had much less to moan about.